Sr Savitha Lobo
"I can do all things in Christ..."
My prayer journey has shown me that prayer is never static; rather, it is an ever-unfolding adventure of discovery, building a stronger relationship with every step. Over the years, the relationship has become richer and more honest, and I realise that my personal encounter with God evolves and expands the more I dedicate myself to God.
Growing up, prayer was simple and usually involved prayers recited from memory. My prayers were taught to me by my parents and catechists. It was also all about bringing my needs and complaints list to God. God, in those young years, was someone powerful, a benevolent figure who resided somewhere up above, and prayer was a direct line to placing an order. There was an innocence and purity to it but it was centred on me and what I could receive. I don’t say that it was not prayer; rather, I would say that as we mature in our Chrisian life, we also grow in our relationship with God. The petitioning heart of the child is still there but now it prays, “Not my will, but yours.”
My journey into religious life, especially as I entered formation as a Daughter of St. Paul, has seen my prayer evolve from a disciplined practice to a deep, abiding relationship. The authentic prayer I have entered into is less about speaking and more about listening. It's about simply being present to the One who is already present to me. In prayer, I am in His presence, I look at Him, and I experience His unconditional love for me. I've come to realise that the greatest prayer is a quiet, ongoing acceptance and commitment to small acts of love.
This deep presence, however, is not easy. Distractions are a constant companion. My mind wanders, thinking about the things I need to do during the day, or caught up in the fear and anxiety of past events or things yet to come. There are days when the silence feels heavy and the distractions are overpowering. Being consecrated to God while immersed in the world's noise is a unique challenge. Yet, this is precisely where our fidelity is tested. Even when I experience this kind of dryness, I remain there before God’s presence, because I know that I am loved by God just the way I am.
As a Daughter of St. Paul, a prayer taught to us by our Founder, Fr James Alberione, gives me the grace each day that allows me to live out my Pauline vocation. It transforms my community life by calling me to love with Christ's heart. It energises my ministry and gives me the grace needed so that whatever I do is rooted in Jesus’ example. I want to share it with you here…
Jesus Master, may I think with your mind and wisdom. May I love with your heart. May I see with your eyes. May I speak with your tongue. May I hear with your ears. May I relish the things you relish. May my hands be yours. May my feet follow in your footsteps. May I pray using your words. May I treat others as you do. May I celebrate the Eucharist with your self-immolation. May I dwell in you as you do in me, to the point that I disappear. ❦